Happy: September 2002 Archives

We love Paul Rudnick! This week in The New Yorker he writes a helpful memo to the FBI which should assist them in an investigation of the putative Gay Mafia.

RE: The F.B.I.'s racketeering division recently infiltrated the nation's alleged Gay Mafia, with operatives working under cover as vicious choreographers, neo-con columnists, and chatty houseboys. These moles have discovered many significant differences between this far-reaching criminal enterprise and its heterosexual counterpart.
Selections from his crimebusters-handy list:
3. High-ranking members of the Gay Mafia communicate almost exclusively by phone. Code phrases include "Stop it," "So when I ran into him I was very so-fine-we-had-sex-so-what-I-still-hate-you," and "Oh, she's one to talk."

7. The Gay Mafia's links to the Catholic Church are extensive, and most often begin with the phrase "Jimmy, did you know that the Apostles liked to wrestle?"

10. The Gay Mafia has its origins in ancient Greece, when Don Plato first remarked to a group of graceful youths, "I am so over Carthage." [he shoulda written, "Sparta"]

14. The Gay Mafia is assumed to have connections with dockworkers and longshoremen, because they're just so damn hot.

17. The Transgendered Mafia is becoming a major player, mostly because they're so tall.

Sorry. Yeah, it's sentimental I guess, but it's really ok, because they're tough, these guys, and at least one gal, who looks like she could handle anything--and probably has had to.

It's a wonderful piece [with a slideshow]. Don't miss Firefighter Augie Simoncini [unfortunately no photo].

But for all the ribbing, most firefighters took their portraits quite seriously. Andy Johnson, a first-year firefighter, or probie, at Engine Company 278 in Sunset Park, initially shrugged off the suggestion that he have his picture taken. But once he agreed, he quickly became engrossed in composing the photograph.

"I can't see the tool in this shot," he said, looking at the small digital screen on the back of Ms. Yanes's camera. In the shot he is sitting on the fender of the engine with an ax slung over one shoulder. "Can we reshoot it?"

"Of course" is her reply. "Let's do it again."

The photos of firefighters who died on Sept. 11 that were released to the news media were official portraits in dress uniform or were "probie shots," taken of young firefighters when they first join the department. Few firefighters have pictures of themselves in their working gear, the way they would like to be depicted.

"We have this picture they take of us in probie school," said Lt. Bob Hartie, a firefighter in Brooklyn. "And they told us, `You never want to see this picture in the paper, because if you do, it means you are dead.' So guys are kind of superstitious about that picture. It's nice to have something else."

We joined our handsome blog-fellows at The Abbey last night, but we missed the women this time!

The Driggs Street boite is way cool, but if we have a community as bloggers it's all about the fact that we talk and listen so well. We might do better without so much competition from the music.

One humble suggestion, which should appeal to all genders, is The Excelsior in Park Slope.

See evidence for the gang's loveliness in the images below.

Barry and Sparky

Dan'l and John

Sam and Brian

This page is an archive of entries in the Happy category from September 2002.

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