What a country! Can we still say stuff like this? Yes, but it doesn't matter, since we're still not able to influence what passes for our own government, even if we talk nice.

Mark Morford's "SF GATE MORNING FIX" email raised a few eyebrows monday when he introduced the White House lawyers war authority story with this extended paragraph:

**Geedubya Makes Big War Stuff Go Boom**
White House lawyers have told President Bush he would not need
congressional approval to attack Saddam Hussein's Iraq. Two senior
administration officials, speaking on condition of anonymity but who's names are Bob and Louis and who live at 3566 Kensington Lane and 220 Jackson #3 in D.C. and who's home phone numbers are 555-8761 and 555-9002 and who like a nice Chard with dinner and interestingly enough each have a secret stash of hardcore bizarre German fetish porn and who really really loathe traffic and wish their wives were just slightly more into the whole oral thing and who love animals and who, deep down, really crave more profound insight and honesty and deep tongue kissing and to have more love and magic in their lives, respectively, said White House counsel Al Gonzales advised Bush earlier this month that the Constitution gives the president authority to wage war without explicit authority from Congress, especially if all his oil-sucking jackass crony advisers and warmongering lint-sodomizing CEO patrons tell him to and he bounces on Dick's knee and licks his pockmarked bald demon skull and giggles giggles snorts.