Barry and I saw soldiers in the subway on Valentine's day, in "camouflage" [no, they weren't wearing tar paper] and armed with assault weapons, but we thought they were, what, just window dressing for the White House's orange alert games? Or, whatever. Nothing surprises us any more. Tonight we heard in a blog from a friend who found out, the hard way, that we are actually under an occupying army. Dan'l describes his evening in his own words:

if you live in new york city you've probably seen the (hot) national guardsmen taking up residence in our subway stations lately... i have to admit that i was a little unnerved the first time i saw assault rifles on the platform, but i was just starting to get used to it... until...

tonight i entered the ACE station at 34th street carrying an overnight bag (containing my computer, clothes, and personal hygiene products) and a shopping bag with groceries i'd just bought for the making of peach cobbler... i was gonna travel up to 103rd street to stay the night with charlie... we'd be waking up late, cooking all day and eventually going outside to play in the blizzard that's hitting the city right now... anyway, as i approached the edge of the platform, one of these camouflaged yummies steps in front of me and asks me to step aside... "we're going to ask you to set your bags down and remove your coat and hat..."

[hmmm,] i think, [are we doing random security checks now like they do in airports???] yes sir, of course...

i do as instructed and then am handcuffed... now i'm a little freaked out...

what's going on???

"sir, we'd like to examine the contents of your bags... will we find any weapons inside???"

no... i have some clothes and my computer...

i looked down at my bag and saw that the power cord and battery were hanging out of the top... [of course that looks suspicious, you idiot!!! not to mention i had a bunch of metal cans and flour in my food emporium bag...] to make what is a very long (an hour spent with these guys) story a little shorter, i had to:

explain traveling uptown so late...
explain my computer and cell phone cords...
explain the workings of a laptop computer
explain the workings of a sprint phone...
explain pajamas with monkey print and two pairs of socks...
explain what q-tips are used for...
explain what it takes to make a peach cobbler...
prove that i'm not a terrorist and that i have no intention of building any kind of weapon...
do i look like him or him or him??? what the???

anyway, i have to say that i feel safer after all this than i did before...

Yipes! I hope Dan'l is just being sarcastic, but the important question is, does anyone know this shit is going on?

Ok, for the curious, and for those who want to know what a terrorist suspect looks like, here he is. Oh, and our monster is 5 feet 6 inches tall and 130 pounds. Cute as the dickens, but don't let that fool you.