[Oh the times. Oh the manners!--Cicero]
Yes, it's come to this, but not a moment too soon.
The NYTimes Business Section today includes a lengthy piece on how corporate executives can survive in prison, "White-Collar Criminal? Pack Lightly for Prison." I suppose the customary articles on earnings ratios and the usual investment analyses just don't pack the journalistic punch they used to.
The most common advice for staying out of trouble is universal: do your own time. In other words, mind your own business, avoid confrontation. [David Novak, who spent nine months at the prison camp in Eglin, Fla., in 1997 for purposely crashing his aircraft and filing a false insurance claim] has assembled a list of basic rules of prison etiquette that he's published in a 200-page manual called "Downtime: A Guide to Federal Incarceration," for which he charges $39.95. The list includes: Don't rat. Don't cut in line. Don't ask. Don't touch. Pay your debts. Flush often. Don't whine.Oh yes, for those who are interested, the article also gives us some insight into what kind of sexual threats or opportunities may await the white-collar criminal these days.
If prison camps are not "Club Fed," neither are they arenas for violence. Newcomers often are terrified by the possibility of forced sex, but former inmates and prison officials agree that sexual assault in federal prisons is rare, even at the highest security levels, and practically unheard of in prison camps. Former inmates say that while officially forbidden, consensual sex is common and available.Hmm. On either count, it seems that at least as far as sex is concerned, the outside world just might actually be less attractive for a middle-aged suit, especially if the Times account includes what awaits women as well.